Every day hundreds of things happen that require a response. Some of them are serious, some of them are meaningless, and others are laughable. You can never be sure which is which, or when it will come back to bite you. So you have to respond to every single one of them. Look in here and download a time-tested response that suits your situation. If you would like to share some of your best ones, turn to the GIFs section on the Executive Sharing Page.
What Would You Like to Share?
Content and Format
Publicly Available Content
Summary of Guidelines for Submission
Feel free to name your most notable Hedge Fund, Private Equity Fund, Leveraged Buyout shop, Corporate Raider, M&A Investment Bank team, M&A Legal Team, Short-seller, Dissident Shareholder, and/or Liquidator.
Task 1. Vacation
Task 2. Research
M.O.s of the Office Terrorists and Whackjobs. Free Dartboards. Case Studies
Task 3. Risk Assessment
Getting Fired? The Omens. Company going down? The Early Warning Test.
Task 4. Reset
Protecting family, friends, investments, real estate, and vacations while clearing the decks. Whatever else comes to mind.
Task 5. Mobilization
The Winning Combat Calendar
In order to submit items for posting on the VPA website, one must become a member. Membership is anonymous. Membership is free.
Bottom Line Fever
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Too Big to Fail
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VPA DECLARES NATIONAL BELEAUGUERED MANAGER'S DAY!
The Friday after Thanksgiving: the only day of the year you can get anything done at the Office.
Andersen, Roger—Continental Illinois
Anderson, Warren—Union Carbide
Brittain, Alfred—Bankers Trust
Brown, Lewis Herrold—Johns-Manville
Brown, William L.—First National Bank of Boston
Butcher, Willard C.—Chase Manhattan Bank
Carpenter, Michael—Kidder Peabody
Cayne, James—Bear Stearns
Clausen, A.W.—Bank of America
Connolly, Walter—Bank of New England
Corzine, John—MF Global Holdings
DeNunzio, Ralph—Kidder Peabody
Dunlap, Al—Scott Paper
Dutt, James—Beatrice Foods
Eyler, John—Toys R Us
Farley, William—Fruit of the Loom
Fish, Lawrence—Bank of New England,
Fish, Lawrence—Citizens Bank
Flamson, Richard—Security Pacific
Freeman, Gaylord—First National Bank of Chicago
Fuld, Richard—Lehman Brothers
Glucksman, Lewis—Lehman Brothers
Greenspan, Alan—Federal Reserve
Gutfreund, John—Salomon Brothers
Heineman, Ben—Northwest Industries
Helmsley, Leona—Helmsley Enterprises
Immelt, Jeffrey—General Electric
Jenkins, William N.—SeaFirst
Joseph, Fred—Drexel, Burnham, Lambert
THE 6 STEPS
Welcome to Vice Presidents Anonymous!
HOW TO PARTICIPATE
This Honor Roll is for the CEOs of big companies. Big companies like the ones these CEOs run employ over 60% of all private sector jobs in the U.S. Each of these CEOs was--or is--paid many millions to make sure that nothing bad happens at their companies. But something bad DID happen at all of these companies--things the CEOs didn't fix. Maybe it's their fault. Or maybe it's not: Indeed some of these CEOs are still viewed by the market as the best thing since stock options. However, each of them has left one or more messes behind them; messes that everyone below them or after them has had to clean up.
Not very many people know or remember who these executives are because there are no Academy Awards in business and no Super Bowls. There's no reason to remember. But WE remember, and we know what happened, because we were right there on the train when it ran off the tracks. Not that we were asked to help steer it. That wasn't our job (as we were clearly told). Our job was to secure the luggage and prepare for impact. Then after that, our job was to clean up the mess, fix the tracks, replace the equipment, and get the trains running on time again......... All Aboard!
VPA was created by corporate bankers in New York for their amusement. Also for their survival. After 30 years, it now is open to executives with similar interests. Participation is free. Participation is anonymous.
We believe in the fundamental value of enlightened management at all levels of the corporation: Vision, commitment, quality, discipline, ethics, hard work, team-work and personal integrity. That's right--the things that get you fired.
We enable corporate managers to support each other's work by sharing advice, tactics, observations, opinions, articles, books, movies, art, humor, hobbies, and reports of corporate buffoonery. We enable them to share this all anonymously.
Business and the Office: News from the Front
Did you make it through the debt crisis? Did your kids know what you were up against? Here's a book that will teach them what it was all about and why it is happening again!
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50 YEARS OF TRAIN WRECKS
Anyone can participate in the conversation on VPA Facebook and other VPA social media platforms. See ABOUT US.
Submit items to be posted on the VPA website. There is no cost to post. VPA does not pay for posts and reserves the right to edit posts.
See EXECUTIVE SHARING.
THE GIFTS YOUR LOVED ONES NEED TO SURVIVE THE DAILY OFFICE--BUT CAN'T FIND ANYWHERE ELSE!
Got a story, comment, video, song, or picture?
Locke, Charles--Morton Thiokol
Lorenzo, Frank—Continental Airlines
Lorenzo, Frank—Eastern Airlines
Lorenzo, Frank—New York Air
Lorenzo, Frank—People's Express
Love, Ben—Texas Commerce Bank
Maxwell, Hamish—Philip Morris
McCormick, Brooks—International Harvester
McGillicuddy, John F.—Manufacturers Hanover Trust
Meriwether, John—Long Term Capital Mgmt.
Munoz, Oscar—United Airlines
Musk, Elon—Solar City
Nix, Alexander—Cambridge Analytica
Norris, William—Control Data
O’Neal, Stan—Merrill Lynch
Olson, Kenneth—Digital Equipment
Raines, Franklin—Fannie Mae
Robinson, James—American Express
Roderick, David—US Steel
Rogers, Theodore C.—NL Industries
Rumsfeld, Donald—G.D. Searle
Rumsfeld, Donald—General Instrument
Sanford, Charles—Bankers Trust
Seawell, William—Pan Am
Shoemaker, Alvin V.—First Boston
Stumpf, John—Wells Fargo
Thain, John—Merrill Lynch
Need Some Help Sorting Things Out?
WE SALUTE OUR LOST COLLEAGUES AND FALLEN COMPANIES
Step 1: We decide that getting the job done and getting it done right is the top priority.
Step 2: We assist the others who want to get the job done right.
Step 3: We acknowledge that getting the job done right is not the priority for the shareholders.
Step 4: We acknowledge that we can't make the CEO do the job right.
Step 5: We find ways to do the job right in spite of the CEO and the shareholders.
Step 6: We go to another company to do the job right.
THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS
SAFELY OUT OF THE LINE OF FIRE.
YOU CAN SHARE WISDOM WITH THE BEST OF YOUR PEERS ANONYMOUSLY.
BE PRACTICAL. BE JUST. GET THE JOB DONE. DODGE THE BULLETS.